It seems like we are always waiting, doesn't it? Even after God has provided so abundantly and thoroughly in recent weeks, I still feel like I am waiting. Waiting for my job to start, for my husband to come, for real life to begin.
I have been reading this book called "When the Heart Waits" by Sue Monk Kidd. It has been exactly what my heart and soul has needed during this in between time. It is helping me redefine what it means to wait, and has fed the fire of the hope inside of me.
Our culture as a whole is constantly moving forward, barely slowing down to appreciate the milestones and memory markers along the way. We think we are wasting time when we are not doing something. Near the beginning of her book, Kidd quotes a monk she met during her visit to the St. Meinrad Archabbey:
" 'When you're waiting, you're not doing nothing. You're doing the most important thing there is. You're allowing your soul to grow up. If you can't be still and wait, you can't become what God created you to be.' " (22)Instead of waiting, we often fill our time, schedules and lives with movement.
"Movement is a kind of diversion from our inner misery. Without the stimulation of forward motion, we're troubled by thoughts we usually keep at bay. Yet, stillness is essential." (33)
And often times, it's painful to wait. It can seem like the "rawest kind of agony," (21). You beg and plead with God to fulfill your needs now. I mean, if God and/or Jesus can satisfy all my desires, why doesn't He??
Because often times, what we need is found in those times of waiting. Spiritual growth and ultimate fulfillment come as we painfully wait for what we think we want. As we trust in Jesus and obey His commands, we find the satisfaction, joy, love and worth we have been longing for. As Kidd writes:
"Transformations come only as we go the long way round, only as we are willing to walk a different, longer, more arduous, more inward, more prayerful route." (19)There are no short-cuts in God's kingdom. God cares more about the process than the product. Even then, when we arrive at our long awaited destination, we find that there is always the next thing we are waiting for. I am starting to see that it really is in the "in-between times" where the most growth happens. Moreover, it is where most of life happens.
My hope in this time of waiting grows as I recall each time God has been faithful to His promises. I have been here before, waiting for the next revelation, for greater understanding. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. And I have more faith than ever that it will happen. And when it does, I will once again be amazed by God's greatness and abundant provision.
Until then, we wait.
You are loved.
PS- Sorry, this post has nothing (directly) to do with Uganda. Just wanted to share :)