My story is unique yet similar to some many other people. I became a Christian at 18 when I realized, like all Christians must do at some point, that I needed Jesus. I had been doing it on my own for so long, and I was so tired. Each day I would seek fulfillment in the world around me, just to find that the next day I needed to be filled all over again. It was temporary, and left me wanting more, feeling dirty and unlovable.
I joke with my friends about this old life, and call it BC: before Christ. I was a totally different person before I allowed God to take over my heart, will, and life. There is a lot of things I used to think, but now my world has changed...
I used to think that I couldn't be loved (if only you really knew me), but now I must choose to love myself every day.The love of God is a wave, crashing down on you, overwhelming you with its power. Each down the wave of his grace and mercy fall upon you, you change. The waters of his love transform you: carving you, building you, and shaping you from the brokenness you are and have experienced. There is no denying it or fighting it.
I used to think that I wasn't beautiful but now I think that my beauty is an undeniable part of the woman God is transforming me to be.
I used to think that I loved well but now I see love is a commitment to choose God and choose the other over myself.
I used to think that I had to see, touch, feel to believe but now I know that believing is obeying, and requires faith.
I used to think that my worth came from my abilities but I am learning that I am worthy even when I am unable.
It changes everything. Your heart, your friends, your desires, your will, your direction, your life. There is no way you can encounter Jesus and not be transformed.
I used to think that I could do this on my own, but now I think I wouldn't want to live any other way.